I’ll let you in on a little secret of mine: I used to be terrible at communicating with my partner. Introverted by nature and a little shy, I didn’t know how to ask for what I wanted. I barely knew what it was I even wanted, and I hesitated to admit it for fear that it would make me seem inadequate somehow. I wanted to be perfect for him. I wanted to be perfect, period.
It didn’t take long for me to realize something wasn’t right, though it took me a bit longer to pinpoint exactly what that something was. The problem wasn’t really my lack of expertise—it was that I wasn’t allowing myself to trust in my partner or our relationship enough to open up to him about something that, though it felt private to me, was deeply affecting both of us and our time together. Relationships, of course, are built on trust—and the only way to build that trust is through open communication.
Sex is for everyone. The physical pleasure and intimacy that comes from our tightest bonds is one of the great gifts of being human, and we celebrate all body types.
If you are in a sexual relationship and are looking for new ways to spice things up in the bedroom, why not try vibrators, wand massagers or even g-spot toys? Many couples are starting to bring sex toys into their sex lives to change things up a bit, or add a little bit more excitement.
For some couples, regular everyday sex and the same old sex positions, become boring after a time. In today's ever-changing world of technology and the society becoming more self-aware that sex and toys are not so taboo anymore, brings new excitement. Years ago, this topic of couples and vibes would not even be discussed. That would be considered inappropriate and taboo. Porn and sex toys were not a topic that could be addressed. Now, over the past ten years more and more sex toy and accessory stores have popped up all over the place. Ten years ago, maybe you would have one place to shop for online sex toys. Now, the competition is so fierce, there are so many online shops, and the manufacturers are adding more toys to their inventory each day.
The manufacturers of these sex toys are using technology to improve the old toys. It’s not your typical vibrator anymore. Now, couples are swimming in a sea of so many choices. There are Bluetooth vibes, g-spot vibes, bullet vibes, wand massagers. For some women it is impossible to find their g-spots, this has been an ongoing discussion for years now. Many women, during sex with their partner, cannot reach orgasm with penetration sex. It's not necessarily the male partner's fault. He can have a large or small penis, but if that g-spot is not getting hit, she is not going to reach orgasm by having sex with just plain old-fashioned penetration. This is why some women give up and enjoy having clitoral orgasms.
So as a couple, if your not able to locate and have a g-spot orgasm, why not have your partner have a little fun. It can bring much excitement for the couple as well. They can spend time shopping together, trying to find the right toy. Sex toy shopping is a fun and kinky thing to do together. While shopping and then finding the right g-spot vibe, you can go in the bedroom and also try a few things, to make your new vibe night a little more erotic. From research, it would be very romantic and helpful, to maybe take a nice warm bath together and do a bit of underwater teasing. The warm bath water will undoubtedly relax the muscles in your body which, helps when trying to have a g-spot orgasm. After your warm, sexy bath, you can go into the bedroom, have your partner rub you down with some oils. From there, a little foreplay would be beautiful and erotic, and let him build you up. As you begin to get built up, think of the excitement, of having this new g-spot toy inserted inside of you. This will be a huge turn on for your man as well. Let him work the toy and have him help you discover parts of your body, which can bring orgasm and much more intense sex for you both. Think about how turned on you will both be, once he hits your golden spot and you have a powerful orgasm. This will arouse your lover, and he will be deep inside you in no time, while this can lead to a night of kink and fun. All because of a new sex toy in your relationship.
Another favorite toy for couples now are the wand massagers. Wand massagers are available both battery operated or electric operated. The wand massagers are highly recommended for clitoral orgasms. Now, as we mentioned in this article earlier, there are both women, some who can orgasm from a g-spot orgasm, but not clitoral. Either way, if you can reach orgasm both ways, this toy is a five star rated toy, that can enhance your sexual relationship. This would bring things to a new level. Imagine, just tying up your girl's hand and feet, while nude. Then you could tease her with the massager wand; gently on her clit. This will drive any woman crazy. These particular toys, bring orgasm on rather quickly. Many women do own these massagers because they are probably one of the best selling toys and a favorite amongst women. However, having your man using that toy on you instead of when you alone masturbating, can be more than erotic and intensify the sexual pleasure in the bedroom between the both of you.
These two sex toys are highly recommended for couples looking to have a little more excitement in the bedroom. However, there are hundreds of other vibrators that can add to your sex life. Bringing sex toys into your love life is highly recommended. It is always best to keep things new and fun. A lot of couples, who end up in a relationship with a cheating partner, is because of sex. Sex is a significant part of a loving relationship. Sex is healthy and just like the communication between a couple is a crucial factor in a relationship, so is your sex life. So don't let it get to be the same old thing each time you are intimate. Keep things exciting and new by adding some new toys into your life.
Kegel balls (or Ben Wa balls), are a type of tool you can use to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. We’d even go beyond that, calling them a toy because their effects can include tons of jiggly orgasmic feelings. They’re fun, minimal effort exercises. Also if going to the gym sounds like a total pain to you, Kegel balls facilitate a kind of training that’ll certainly help you gain ground in the bedroom.
If you have a pair and aren’t sure where to start, or if you’re unsure of what to buy, read on! We’ll walk you through how to choose the right pair and what to do after you get them home ;).
Kegel My What?
Your Kegel muscle is the muscle found along your pelvic floor, also called the pubococcygeus muscle. Have you ever had to pee, really, really bad – but there wasn’t a bathroom close by? The Kegel muscle, as it turns out, is what your clenching on to when you’re trying to hold it in. That squeezing motion is also the basis of all Kegel exercises, which rely on repeated contraction and release to grow stronger.
Although Kegel balls tend to be marketed primarily towards those with vaginas, everyone can use them – regardless of genitalia. Healthcare professionals recommend Kegel exercises for a variety of different health benefits, such as:
- Treating urinary incontinence
- Preventing vaginal prolapse
- Speeding up vaginal post-pregnancy
- Treating inflammation in the prostate gland
In addition to medical benefits, Kegel exercises also have a powerful effect on your sex life. You may notice while doing the workouts that the movements are very similar to the contractions that occur during climax. A stronger pubococcygeus muscle makes for stronger contractions – which ramp up the explosive potential of orgasms.
Strengthening your Kegel muscle can also help give you better control of orgasms and ejaculation - which is why we recommend them as a basic tool to address premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction and orgasm difficulties in general.
Painless, effortless and incredibly beneficial, these exercises are some of the easiest ways to increase sexual pleasure without tremendous cost or risk.
How do I Kegel Myself?
Although it’s possible to perform Kegel strengthening exercises on your own without any tools, Kegel balls are helpful because they don’t require any concentration or forethought (e.g. counting: sets, reps, seconds). These useful balls directly stimulate the target muscle.
The Sincerely, Sportsheets Kegels are body-safe hollow balls made of silicone with little weights inside of them that are inserted into the vagina and left there. Yep, just left there. Once they’re resting comfortably inside you, the weights will bounce around (as you go about your day), and the Kegel muscle will involuntarily contract as a result of this constant movement. While it may sound daunting, it is actually quite effortless, as the contractions do not cause discomfort of any kind. The whole process is designed around your body’s subconscious movements, making it easier for you.
Keeping your Kegel exercise kit clean is crucial! If they aren’t cleaned and stored correctly, they can introduce harmful bacteria into your vagina that could lead to a serious infection. They should be thoroughly cleaned and dried before and after each use. Kegel balls come in their own storage pouch and should be stored there when not in use.
To prepare the Kegel balls, you should first thoroughly wash your hands with antibacterial soap. Next wash your Kegel balls with antibacterial soap under warm water, then carefully dry them off with a clean towel.
When inserting Kegel balls – particularly for the first time – it helps to lie down with your legs relaxed. Apply an ample amount of lubricant to the balls (preferably water-based, as silicone Kegel balls may degrade if a silicone lubricant is applied) and slide one in – at a speed that is comfortable to you. Push the ball upwards (similarly to how you might push in a tampon) as far as they go comfortably. Once in, just stand-up and go about your day.
It’s not unheard of for people to orgasm just from having their Kegel balls in and moving around because they are just that awesome. Jumping up and down, running and riding in a car or bus can all add to that delightful ‘jiggle factor’ that makes your Kegel muscle contract like you’ve just had a quickie instead of a typical work commute. There are lots of things you can do with Kegel balls inserted. Try keeping them in while you stimulate your clitoris, or using the anal exerciser while masturbating.
Finally, don’t confine your Kegel exercises to pre-coital activities alone. Try actively doing them while having sex and see how that feels. It’s a great way to spice up one’s genital repertoire. From a tightening, pulsating vagina to a stronger, harder erection, Kegel exercises might be just what the sex doctor ordered.
Where Can I Get My Hands on Them?!
There are so many different varieties of Kegel balls out there, it can be overwhelming to choose. Some are sets of balls attached by string, some are made of metal or glass, and they come in a variety of weights and sizes. This is where the distinction between ‘Ben Wa balls’ and ‘Kegel balls’ typically refer to larger balls with a string, encased in hard plastic or medical grade silicone, but both exercises are effectively the same.
With all types, your top priority should be making sure they’re body safe since you’re going to be putting them in and out of yourself on a regular basis. You should ensure the materials are non-porous. Avoid rubber and jelly, and lean more towards silicone, glass and metal. Make sure the string is not made from braided cloth. This can quickly turn into a very nasty bacteria trap. If it has a string, it should be completely silicone coated.
Regarding size and weights, it comes down to what you feel is the most comfortable for you. Sportsheets sell a set of Kegel balls with a gradation of different weights. The heavier the ball, the more effort is needed to keep it in – and the more of a work-out your vagina will get. It’s recommended that beginners try wearing Kegel balls for a ½ hour, 3 times a week. Like with weights, you can increase the time as your vagina masters the current difficulty level.