I’ll let you in on a little secret of mine: I used to be terrible at communicating with my partner. Introverted by nature and a little shy, I didn’t know how to ask for what I wanted. I barely knew what it was I even wanted, and I hesitated to admit it for fear that it would make me seem inadequate somehow. I wanted to be perfect for him. I wanted to be perfect, period. It didn’t take long for me to realize something wasn’t right, though it took me a bit longer to pinpoint exactly what that something was. The problem wasn’t really my lack of expertise—it was that I wasn’t allowing myself to trust in my partner or our relationship enough to open up...
When couples attempt to resume sex postpartum, the problems that may arise usually aren’t due to a loss of physical or emotional attraction. In fact, couples may be more in love than ever after the birth of a baby. However, between caring for the new baby and trying to deal with changes in your body and your relationship, it can be hard to know exactly when or how to get your sex life back on track. It’s not that women don’t want to engage in sex postpartum—it’s that couples need to work together to rekindle their connection.
Cerebral palsy may impact your sex life, but it shouldn’t define sex for you or your partner. Healthy communication between partners—and between you and your caregivers, as applicable—is a vital first step toward gaining the sex life you want. By experimenting with different positions and different toys, couples with CP can find new ways to experience accessible, enthusiastic, and satisfying sex.
Getting out of the military is hard. By the time you’ve reached your end of active duty you’ll have spent years around people who dress the same, went to the same basic training, worked the same or a similar job, and understood even the most obscure jokes you made about military life. Coming home can make you feel like you’ve become a stranger. And when you’ve been wounded in combat, vulnerability can be even harder to embrace. However, there are steps you can take to accept and embrace your situation, to thrive in this ‘new normal.’ There are ways to reconnect with your partner (and yourself) and accept intimacy.
To many people, there are few topics which seem more uncomfortable and personal than sexuality and disability. Conversations about bodies can make people uneasy, because our bodies are so often and intimately tied to our identities. And when the topic transitions to sex or disability—or both—lots of people simply avoid them out of politeness, discomfort, or a lack of vocabulary (or, let’s be real, all three). That silence may be politely well-intentioned, but it leaves most disabled people feeling that their sexuality is elided and ignored in the wider world. Myths and misunderstandings about disability and sex abound, and here we will try to tackle and demystify a few.