Every Valentine’s Day presents me with a bit of a dilemma. How much is too much? How much is too little? I love the whole “flowers and chocolates and bears” (oh my?), but is it sappy and overdone? If I don’t like them, am I a curmudgeon, bucking tradition? And it used to be so hard to know what to get my husband. He pretended not to care, but I really didn’t believe him.
How to know?
Well, here’s a rule of thumb: most people don’t like presents because they like getting stuff. They like getting presents because it shows that you care. It shows that you are thinking about them, that you are considering their happiness, and that you want to bring the most happiness and joy and pleasure to a cold day in mid-February as possible.
You know what works great for this? Sex toys. Sure, get chocolate for your partner. Get a nice bottle of red wine to enjoy over a long and lingering dinner. Go see the new 50 Shades movie. (Even if you don’t love it, you could get some good ideas.) Do the traditional stuff, or do the stuff you’ve made your tradition.
But at the end of the night, you’re going to end up in bed. And that’s where our Valentine’s Day gift guide with the 12 best sex toy presents comes in.
This gift guide is a little different than most. While you are obviously looking for gifts that your partner will enjoy, these gifts aren’t something that will be used by him or her, as much as will be used on them. These are gifts that, when opened, let the recipient know that their night is about to get a lot more interesting, and a lot sexier.
We also have four theme ideas to kick up your role-playing game, so that when the gift is opened, you can already start your next fantasy.
Valentine’s Day is yours. Do what you enjoy. And if what you enjoy is some bonding bondage time, these are the gifts for you.
Valentine’s Day Gifts for Him
The name says it all. With a tip like a dragon’s tail, this crop delivers a delicious stinging blow, sizzling through the air like a burst of flame. And if you want to incorporate any Game of Thrones roleplay, well, I know my husband doesn’t mind imagining me as a certain Targaryen queen. With this crop, you can be as imperious as the Mother of Dragons.
This goes over the penis, and is ribbed for his pleasure. It adds extra stimulation to his member, which is especially fun if you are also using a crop or anal beads or anything else. If you decide to have him tied up and just give him a riotous variety of sensations, the man sleeve adds to the enjoyment of the night.
Nipple clamps that are attached to a cock ring. “Butt knuckles” for prostate massaging. A vibrator that can attach to those knuckles. If you were thinking, “I’m tired of the traditional Valentine’s Day,” well, you’ve found the right gift.
Want to give a gift that is also a gift to yourself? This Valentine’s Day, give a cock ring. What better way to say “You have my favorite toy, and I’m going to make sure I can play with it all night long.” The cock ring gives you control over his erections, making them last, and making it your always-present present.
Valentine’s Day Gifts for Her
Look, I’ll be honest: when I first got these my initial thought was “I’m sorry, what?” They look silly, and they sort of are silly, but that’s the point: they are fun, and they really increase the sensitivity in your nipples. I love having my husband bite and suck on mine, but sometimes I also want his mouth doing other things. If you give this gift, you are helping to expand the number of erogenous zones that one person can stimulate.
You know what is a great gift? A bath. Some time to kick back, close your eyes, put on some music, and relax. You know what makes a bath even better? When someone is stimulating your clit. With the finger massage kit, designed for wet conditions, you can get your partner off while she also gets relaxed. What’s better than that?
Here’s something else I really like: having my g-spot touched during sex. The G-Spot link lets that be hit in Missionary position, without tiring my legs or making it difficult for me or my partner. It’s really sexy and super exciting, and it can even offer new sex moves, like the Windshield Wiper. (Isn’t it great how the sexiest things sometimes have the goofiest names?)
A lot of women have the fantasy of being double-penetrated, but don’t want the emotional complications of bringing someone else into their bed and body. With the Ménage A Trois Strap-on Set, you can give her the exciting thrill of having two cocks inside her—by yourself. As my husband said, “I couldn’t get any of the Hemsworth lads, but I got the next best thing.” To be honest? With the intimacy and naughty thrill it created between us, it was even better than Thor.
Valentine’s Gifts for Theme Night
Bearing in mind that either partner of any gender can be a dom/dominatrix, this sort of theme can set a spark for a Valentine’s Day that you won’t be recounting to co-workers. Our Sexy Severe kit provides a chain ball metal whip, a cock ring, nipple clips, a flared butt plug, and a spiked Wartenberg wheel, all decked out in industrial/post-apocalypse decor, all shiny and chrome. Someone is in for a good night, and someone else for a great night.
The Naughty Student
Someone has been misbehaving. Someone has been a terrible, terrible student, and needs to have some discipline. A classic scenario that hearkens back to all our sexual awakenings, the naughty schoolboy/girl is harmless fun between two loving adults. It’s brought to life with that classic boarding school punishment, the paddle. Want to take it to a kinky high? I recommend our leather slut impression paddle.
This is one of my favorite sets: it’s our Valentine’s-red Submit and Surrender kit. A blindfold. A breathable ball gag. Nearly 50 feet of reusable bondage tape. Set your partner up in kinky positions—right where you want them, which is also right where they want to be: as your prisoner. You have the key to their ultimate pleasure.
So here’s a pretty fun game. I like to tie my husband up with an under-the-bed restraint system and blindfold him, and then use a feather spanker as I see fit. Sounds a bit basic, perhaps? Well, our game is that I ask him questions about me, or about our relationship. If he gets it right, the feather gives a delicious tickle to his thighs and his cock and balls. If he gets it wrong? The slapper does the opposite. Sometimes it is fun to just flip a coin, to leave it entirely up to fate. He’s quiet enough that he can hear the coin whumph through the air, and slap on my hand as I catch it. And then…
Well, what happens after you start using the toys is entirely up to you. These are meant to be played with, and explored. There is no one way to do things.
Really, there’s no one way to do any Valentine’s Day. You aren’t bound to make a reservation at the third-most expensive restaurant in town, and then get exactly the right number of flowers. You are supposed to have the day you both desire.
Valentine’s Day should be just as unique as you. Catch Cupid’s arrow in your hand, and then use it as you see fit.