Almost anyone who has experienced any degree of paralysis can tell you that friends often share questions about your disability once they feel close enough to ask. And when the braver friends have exhausted their polite questions—Do you feel any pain?—they sometimes get down to the questions they’ve wanted to ask, but propriety prevented them: Can you still have sex? Do you enjoy it?
It’s a natural curiosity, as paralysis at any level is life-altering and can impact both muscle use and sensation. But just as we said while discussing back injuries and amputation, paralysis is not the same thing as being sentenced to a sexless life. There’s an entire world of tips, toys, and positions to enhance intimacy and keep your sex life active and healthy as a paraplegic.
As we’ve said before, sex is an intense physical and mental experience that can trigger engrained emotions about your body. Trying to adapt to sex as a paraplegic—or just to improve your sex life as a paraplegic—requires open honesty, with yourself and your partner. The more you share your wants, desires, and (particularly!) anxieties with your partner, the more you will be able to address them together.
Foreplay is an important part of sex, and for many partners, is a direct channel to sharing feelings of intimacy. Your need for foreplay doesn’t change just because of paralysis. Small alterations to your foreplay can make the experience more accessible and allow both partners to focus on mutual arousal and intimacy.
Men with paraplegia can experience a huge range of effects on their erections. Some men still get and maintain them with relative ease, while others might use a variety of toys or devices to help sustain an erection. For paraplegics who can become erect but have trouble maintaining that erection, a cock ring or a harness with a cock ring can be a simple and inexpensive boost for feeling more confident in your erections. Prescriptions and penis pumps work well for others, and there are also more permanent surgical options that some consider.
But an erection is not the only way to define sex, and certainly not the only way to have intercourse. Dildos and vibrators will let you please and penetrate your partner using your hands or mouth. A strap-on will allow you to penetrate your partner and focus on your mutual arousal rather than be distracted by concerns about maintaining an erection. With a hollow strap-on, a man can fit his penis, soft or erect, inside the strap-on where it can be used for as long as you both have energy. Strap-ons also work equally well if you have strong arms and shoulders and want to be the partner on top during sex, or if you’d rather lay down and have your partner be on top.
As a paraplegic, some sex positions will simply work better and be more fulfilling than others, so it’s important to experiment and discover what works best for you, your partner, and your level of paralysis. For extra fun—and help!—consider a toy or positioning aid.
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When couples attempt to resume sex postpartum, the problems that may arise usually aren’t due to a loss of physical or emotional attraction. In fact, couples may be more in love than ever after the birth of a baby. However, between caring for the new baby and trying to deal with changes in your body and your relationship, it can be hard to know exactly when or how to get your sex life back on track.
It’s not that women don’t want to engage in sex postpartum—it’s that couples need to work together to rekindle their connection.
-Completely Made Up
So, there’s a reason I had to make up that quote: it has literally never been said, even by accident.
So why, when it comes to the amazing orgasm that pegging can cause, is there so often reluctance? In this guide, we work to understand and overcome hesitation and inaccuracies surrounding the act of getting pegged.
One conversation my husband and I have all the time is about how much fun it would be to swap bodies for a day or two, just to see what it’s like. Obviously, the bulk of the time would be spent having sex or doing sex things. We’d both love to know how it feels for the other person, having those opposite parts.
And that's one thing that pegging can do.
Pegging is an incredible way for partners to get to know each other’s bodies better, to establish trust and love, to play with roles, and to have a wild, sexy, kinky, amazingly good time together. If you are interested in pegging, but not sure how to bring it up, or where to start, or how to do it, we’ve got your answers.