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A well-stocked bedroom is like a well-stocked bar. You need to have more than a pack of condoms, just as you need more than a case of Natty Light.
Let me explain:
In our house, we take entertaining seriously. We spent a while building a handcrafted bar out of locally-salvaged wood. It’s pretty beautiful, actually. But the bar itself isn’t great unless we stock it well enough that guests can enjoy themselves depending on their preference.
If we just had beer or wine, it wouldn’t be very exciting. If we just had a few liquors, that’s not enough. So we always have a bouquet of beers, a lockbox of liquor, and a myriad of mixers. We have glasses for every drink and the right tools to mix the drinks well. Some guest might want a simple beer, some a gin and tonic, some an Old Fashioned, and some a Sex on the Beach—we aim to please.
It needs to be the same in the bedroom. It’s not enough to have walls and a mattress. There are times you’re in the mood for simple, and times you’re in the mood for complex. There are times you want pure pleasure and times you want a hint of pain. Are you stocked for it?
When thinking about the best toys for couples, you need the top sex accessories for every mood. Maybe you’re in a beer mood, or, maybe you’re in the mood for a Singapore Sling. No matter what, you want the toys to make it possible.
These are the best toys couples need for a well-stocked bedroom.
Before we get into the various mixers, it is important to note that you don’t have to get these exact specific toys. I’m pointing out some of my favorites, but the point here is to point out the broad categories. Feel free to mix it up within, or even create your own cocktails.
The point is some people like a small batch; some want a bounceable bottle of Beam. But you should still have bourbon, right?
And, it goes without saying, but you should certainly feel free to mix and match these according to your own pleasure and tastes and predilections. Just know: you can’t drink from the cup unless you have the ingredients.
Some nights, you feel like kicking back, taking off your shoes, and tying your partner to the bedposts. We get it. We feel the exact same way, except for the nights when we feel like being tied up.
If you’re looking for a night of bondage, there are a few ingredients you will need.
It almost goes without saying that you should start with a blindfold. Even though it isn’t technically binding, a blindfold is restricting in a way that is crucial to the fun. See, bondage isn’t about limitation; it is about using those restrictions to expand your sexual vocabulary. Blindfolds, by restricting one sense, heighten the others.
But I’d also recommend handcuffs, especially adjustable handcuffs. These are great no matter the mood. If you are loosey-goosey or want it tight and naughty, these are your kind of cuffs. They are as adjustable as your mood.
The truth is, some other nights you need those other three letters; it can start with the bondage, but you can’t leave out the DSM. Or, at least, I can’t. And I bet at the very least you’ve been curious. If you’re thinking about it, I’d suggest looking through our Beginner’s Guide to BDSM. If you still want to, there are a few toys you can try.
Needless to say, the blindfold and the handcuffs are a pretty good starting point, but you’ll probably want to go further.
As we’ve talked about, dominance and submission have no set boundaries. They vary for every couple. Some people might feel that a little spanking is pretty heavy; some can’t get off unless there are tears. As long as everyone is consensually happy, that’s fine.
But regardless of your level, I feel the well-stocked bedroom should certainly have at least one paddle. After all, this can be used on either partner to spank them when they are naughty. Or nice. Or just because.
I also recommend a flogger. Paddles are wonderful, but they can also be very playful. A flogger can be for more serious BDSM, and can show that, for the moment, you aren’t playing around. While a paddle can be serious (in a fun sexual way), there’s no doubt about a flogger’s intent. Keep both to mix things up.
You know what I love? An amaretto stone sour. I know it is light and sweet, but dammit, sometimes that’s what I want.
That’s certainly what I want in the bedroom sometimes. And when we just want to heighten the pleasure to a degree of sticky satisfaction, we don’t need the whips or paddles. Sometimes, I just want him to rub a vibrator over my most sensitive parts; and sometimes I want to do the same to him.
And gosh-darn-it, sometimes we want to tickle each other. A tickler, whether it is feathers or beads, brings goofy giddy gasping fun into the bedroom. It’s important to have this for the beautiful bubblegum moods.
Granted, this is out of the bedroom. But really, you’re transforming your shower into a bedroom. Shower sex is some of the most exquisite, most erotic, most steamy, and the dirtiest sex you can ever have, all while getting squeaky clean.
So, I would say it is pretty important to stock up on your shower sex implements. If you want to make sure you are fully stocked, it is probably good to have a sex in the shower starter kit (you have to start to finish, after all). This contains:
Those are the lovely basics of shower sex. But I think that you need to be prepared for more exotic orders, which is why I like to make sure I have suction handcuffs, because bondage certainly doesn’t need to be dry. And while we are all lubed up and steam-prepared, I sometimes like to break out the silicone anal beads.
After all, so long as you’re ambivalent about pruning, a good shower can be as short or as long as you need it to be.
We love all positions. If it makes you happy, do it. And we’d try them all too, but also have to recognize that my husband and I aren’t exactly Olympic athletes. So it isn’t always easy for us to get into the positions we want. That’s why it is great to have toys that let us do so.
For instance, I love my Under the Bed bondage kit. These are adjustable so that I can keep my arms and legs splayed as tight or as loose as I want, without having to hold them that way. These are key to bondage, but they are also great for maintaining a position. It’s the same thing with The Sportsheet, where moveable anchor pads allow me to be restrained in whatever configuration we desire. The toys adjust so you can focus on each other.
I also really like to have the Doggie Style Strap. This helps my husband enter me from behind without exerting a lot of pressure on either of our knees and helps us do it from a standing position. Maybe this isn’t for everyone, but we’re close to 40. A little help, well, helps.
I love my bar, and I love the variety of beverages it contains. That case of Natty Light is just as welcome as the 16-year Lagavulin, and I won’t let anyone give me grief about the decadent limoncello nestled in my freezer. I don’t let what other people think of my selections affect me. And the same goes for my bedroom.
Because if you like something, you like it, and as long as you aren’t hurting anybody, you are doing it right. So, when you’re stocking your bedroom, get the toys and tools you’ll want, the things that’ll make you happy, and nothing more or less.
This is a guide, but don’t be bound by it (unless that’s what you’re going for). Stock your bedroom the way you see fit. But be sure you are able to cater to whatever mood strikes. Make sure that you have the supplies you need for a great night, or weekend, or however long you want to stay entwined.
If you do that, and you’re happy, I promise that I’ll tilt a glass your way.
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Sometimes, if you are suffering from chronic or acute joint or muscular pain, sex can be unpleasant, difficult, or even impossible. The pain of getting into the right position, thrusting, and moving in a natural rhythm with your partner increases existing discomfort. For people suffering from these conditions, sex might not seem worth it.
To us, that’s unacceptable.
How does that old phrase go?: Cleanliness is next to godliness, and whatever else you do, be certain to clean your sex toys. I think that’s it.
Properly cleaning sex toys isn’t hard work, but it is serious business. The consequences of not cleaning your sex toy are more significant than you might think. Sex toys come in a huge range of shapes and materials, and that will affect how you want to go about cleaning them. But there are some general tips to keep in mind, as well as specific instructions for individual materials.